Old emails

I was going through some of my old emails today and found a couple things that brought a smile to my face.

First is a poem that I wrote one day when I was really bored at work.

Rain

“Tranquil taps on the windows. Light kisses on my skin. As the heavens lavish the earth with cool, crisp beads of water I am immersed in ecstasy.

The pitter patter of the drops on the maple leaves is an entrancing sound that captivates my entire being.

I sit amongst the trees and the many small flora. I hear their rejoice for the sweet nectar. I am in unison with their pleasure.

I too feel the rain’s life giving essence and consume it in my soul.”

Second is a picture that one of my co workers drew of me. I thought it matched pretty well :)



Enjoy :)

An eventful week

So this week is definitely a week to remember.

On Wednesday March 11th 2009, I was arrested at 7:27 AM PST.

On my way to work, I was stopped at a stoplight about... 2 minutes from my office.

I was eager to get there cause I had quite a lot of work to do.

A cop pulled up behind me as I was waiting for the green light; no big deal. I've never been that nervous when a cop was behind me.

As I got my green light and started through the intersection, the infamous red and blue lights start rotating and immediately my stomach was up in my throat.

So I pulled over into the gas station and got my license and insurance and registration ready and then rolled down my window. The officer cautiously approached my window and said "Mr. Norris...?"

I was first off STUNNED that he already knew my name... and then I was just like "Yeah" and he was like "Will you step out of the vehicle please?". So I did and he turned me around to face the car, put handcuffs on me, read me my Miranda Rights and then put me in the back of his car...

The back seats are SO uncomfortable. Cheap plastic seats that give you about 6 inches to sit on and then maybe a foot in front of you to squeeze your body into.

So he took me down to the jail. I got frisked like 3 times, they couldn't keep their hands off me ;) I got a mug shot, a court date, and then they walked me to the gate and told me I was good to go. Of course they impounded my car. Of course my cell phone service was cut off for just THAT ONE MORNING. So, I walked for about an hour, in like 36 degree weather, towards my apartment.

Thankfully Sydney was driving to the gas station and passed me! Unfortunately, I was only about a mile from my apartments, lol. So, we got my car out of the pound, which is a rip off...

To make a long story short, I couldn't drive for like 2 weeks. I finally got my license un suspended last Friday. I had a court date on Friday which was basically a waste of my time and I have another one on the 22nd of April. OY.

Reset Button?

Sometimes I get a deep urge to just leave. I want to just pack up all my stuff and move to some place FAR away. I really do wish there was eternal reset button that I could press and start things over.

It would definitely have to be on the east coast; I'm feeling Massachusetts or Vermont or Maine. It would a really nice culture change and I'm close enough to Europe where international traveling, which I plan to do a lot of while I'm in my 20's, is quite a bit cheaper. The accents definitely make it that much better of a place to be :)

I do love all my friends that I have here and I'm not wanting to leave to get away from them or anyone but sometimes I just think about what possibilities I could be missing or how my life could change if I did change my life that drastically. Granted, moving to Oregon or even Seattle could supply some life changes. Go big or go home, though! So I plan on going big.

When I seriously think about doing this, I want to leave sometime next year, depending on what/whom is in my life. I really feel like I need to experience more of life and meet new people and new scenarios. I'm starting to get extremely restless in Washington.

A dreary March morning

It's gloomy and gray outside. The sun is trying to burn through the clouds but it's failing miserably.

I'm sitting at work trying to not bite my nails. I've been going strong for about a week now. It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to stop doing.

These past few weeks have been really challenging for me, mentally and emotionally, but I am becoming stronger because of it. I believe that the difficulties in life are intended to make us stronger and better people, not bitter and withdrawn. Unfortunately not everyone can see things that way.

Recently, I chose to walk away from someone that was struggling with his hardships. Someone who withdrew himself when I trying to stretch out a hand of support. Someone who, in my eyes, I had thought and hoped was strong enough to overcome any adversity. Someone who I think I loved.

I've learned over the past few years that unless I get hurt by someone, I take quite a long time to let go and move on. In a sense, I was hurt by this person but apparently not enough to make moving on any easier.

In this situation, I would make myself vulnerable and put my feelings on the chopping block only to be returned with an emotionally unavailable person asking me what I wanted to hear and what he should say.

I would have hoped that after 6 months of getting to know this person, both on friendly and romantic levels, this person would be able to be direct and honest with me and not toy with my mind and emotions like that.

Most of his responses were, "I don't know what to say". I'm sorry but that's a stupid excuse. Your heart always has something to say. I could have cared less if what he said had hurt me. I wanted an honest answer and he wouldn't give that to me which hurt even more.

I have heard it said that some times not feeling is the only way some people can survive. This is how he is looking at life right now. Detaching himself from other people and from his feelings in an attempt to not get hurt again regardless if he is hurting those who care about him.

That's not surviving. That's just a more miserable way of dieing.